Yes, things are a bit different now But no matter how you slice it most of life is the same as in the time of the caveman. If you over feed someone and they get fed just because they are there meaning they don’t have to exercise or otherwise earn their food they will learn to be lazy, fat and unhealthy. They will become mainly over stuffed blobs not productive individuals. Now let’s think about people who learn to whimper and cry over minor problems. If as a baby you are always picked up and cuddled when you cry you learn to cry whenever you are disappointed. You learn you get more attention this way than any other way. Overly kind parents often raise neurotic children who have little strength to survive life’s challenges. These children may not learn to help others, to cooperate, to survive. They will be easily bullied. They cry for attention all the time. They are too needy. Let’s consider a child who is born with a major disability—no arms or legs? Too small, too large? Fighting a major disease? These children face impossible odds so what do their parents teach them—we love you—we believe in you SO this child can achieve miracles because they face challenges—they learn not to cry for attention-they earn attention. Are you enabling your child to become a whiner, a needy, self pitying kid who reacts to life’s challenges by throwing a tantrum, avoiding life’s challenges and demanding gifts or attention whenever possible? Healthy children learn to challenge life; to get over hurdles, to take turns, to share[ yes, even the time adults have to give needs sharing], to cooperate, to help his/her home life, school life and life in general go better. By doing this they earn respect. Children need rules—fair rules that teach responsibility—put your things away—it is dinner time sit properly at the table, eat politely—share toys, help each other, if you pick on someone you need to have a talk about how we treat each other—mostly you need to be treated as a valued adult who needs to understand. Life is not fair! But if every child is a prince or princess this world is going to see WAR after WAR because their parents are failing to motivate them to cooperate, to problem solve, to benefit society. Someone once told me I didn’t know how to raise a genius but I think I do. You don’t want to waste that amazing gift. Our family has one genius—my niece—her IQ is off the charts—but my sister carefully taught her to be respectful of others, to look after herself and her sister and friends. My family has several cousins who have earned the Governor-General’s medals and other honors but these same individuals learned to care about others with Down’s Syndrome. They learned they should give to society not society owed them a living. They learned to work with society, to be a friend. Learning to be a friend is essential for a genius otherwise he or she may just as easily become a unibomber.
On Raising, Strong, Caring, Global Citizens
I am an experimental artist using Japanese washii paper and other collage materials as well as acrylics. I write books -my life stories, travels, poetry and more. I believe in working with my community and the world. I understand some French, Spanish, Japanese and a little spoken Chinese. I love to share. View all posts by tiernanroxsane